All of us encounter stress in our lives, and the causes vary — sick children, deadlines, difficult people. But financial stress is the most vicious and insidious type of stress, impacting everything else in your life and serving only to exacerbate every other problem.
My cousin complained of shooting pains in her back for nearly a year. But, because her husband lost his job, the family had no health insurance. So, she tolerated the pains and ignored the symptoms in order to avoid a costly doctor visit. When she finally went to a doctor, he found lesions on her liver. Thankfully, testing revealed them to be benign; however, had they been cancerous, a year without treatment could have been deadly.
Some Americans encounter financial stress their entire lives, living paycheck to paycheck or working multiple jobs in order to survive. A car problem, a dead refrigerator, or a medical emergency can be catastrophic. But many Americans have never experienced day-to-day battles over money, so the current economic problems are introducing them to financial stress for the first time; and the pain is intense, driving seemingly successful people to take unfortunate steps.
I watched a television special about severe obesity in which a young woman was forced to follow a rigid diet to save her life. Less than 24 hours into the diet, she started to writhe in bed, screaming and crying. The problem? Unpleasant contractions in her stomach. The cause? Hunger pangs! This woman had never felt hunger pangs in her entire life because she ate constantly. Do most of us scream in panic over hunger pangs? No, but it’s only because we’ve experienced them. We know what they are, and we know they will pass.
So, if you are experiencing financial stress, perhaps for the very first time, how do you cope?
- Acknowledge the pain.
Americans are proud. They suffer silently, not wanting people to think they are struggling. This is exactly how I handled myself when I encountered severe financial stress in 2001, nearly losing my home, my business and my sanity. Looking back, I should have shared my situation with those around me. I needed the emotional support, if nothing else. And you might be surprised to find that people around you are experiencing the same problems! Talk to someone, vent, share…acknowledging your financial problems is the first step towards tackling them. - Overcome paralysis.
Have you ever been so overwhelmed with how much work you have to do that you don’t do anything? Your task — a messy house, a term paper, losing weight — looks so monumental that you don’t know where to start. So, you don’t start. You do nothing. Well, financial stress causes the same reaction! I recommend that you start each day with something inexpensive that you enjoy, such as a cup of coffee or a walk through your favorite park. Allow yourself the freedom to enjoy that time without thinking about your financial problems. At the end of that time, assess your day. Pick one, 30-minute time slot in the day during which you will do things you have been dreading or avoiding — calling a creditor, searching for a job, opening your mail, creating a budget, cutting coupons, implementing cost-saving techniques (like insulating windows or unplugging unused appliances…see Budget101.com or similar websites for great ideas).When the time comes, work hard for 30 minutes and then stop. Thirty minutes is better than nothing. Days will come when you are on a roll, so you will spend longer than 30 minutes dealing with the difficulties in your life. Most of us just need a boost getting started! Your daily work will begin to pay dividends, and you will slowly tackle the mountain. More than anything else, you will sleep better at night knowing that you did something proactive to help your situation.
- Identify “needs” versus “wants”.
When I was fifteen years old, I went to Mexico with the high school Spanish class. I remember driving through an impoverished area of Mexico City lined with shacks. But these tiny shacks all had television antennas on top of them! I remember thinking, “They may not have food, but they have televisions!” Keep track of everything you spend for a month (everything, including receipts from fast food restaurants, buying newspapers, renting movies, etc.). At the end of the month, figure out which of those expenditures represented something you needed versus something you wanted. Do you need to rent movies? Smoke cigarettes? Drink Coke instead of water from the tap? When I did this exercise, I realized that I was spending too much money eating out. The same amount of money would buy me groceries that would last far longer. You probably won’t survive financial stress until you eliminate the “wants” in your life. If you’re honest with yourself, you may realize that you want a 3800 square foot home, but you don’t need it. You want a new car, but you don’t need it. You want a flat panel television, but you don’t need it.
Financial stress is bitter, and it drapes itself like a shroud over everything you do. But, if you acknowledge it and face it, it will eventually go away — just like hunger pangs!
