Why is it that people who don’t watch television are so incredibly haughty about it?
You know the type. She’s the Jeopardy! contestant who integrates the pronouncement into her introduction. Alex says, “And, Sylvia, I understand that you’ve read every book on the planet. Is that true?” “That’s right, Alex.” She adjusts her glasses. “Of course, I don’t watch television.” She rolls her eyes. “So, instead, I’m a voracious reader and a champion eye-roller.” Does she not realize that she’s ON television?
You KNOW the type. He’s the passenger seated next to you on the airplane. You say, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like the Skipper on Gilligan’s Island?” He looks up, momentarily glaring at you over his newspaper. Then, in a tone meant to convey that you are a poor, pathetic excuse for humanity, he says, “I don’t watch television.”
But nobody is more proud of NOT watching television than some mothers. As a mother of 13-month-old twins, I appreciate the fantastic television programming available for children today, and I certainly don’t believe their brains will rot as they solve problems along with Blues Clues. Occasionally, I find myself in a fun, relaxed conversation about children with a group of other mothers, and I make the mistake of mentioning that my boys dance along with Yo Gabba Gabba! BOOM! Everything goes dead. You can hear crickets in the night. The other mothers look at each other, eyebrows raised. Finally, someone changes the topic, “So, I bought some of those new organically grown hemp diapers…”
I have tried to put myself in their shoes. For instance, when I watch the Grammy’s, I don’t recognize half of the artists anymore. But if somebody says to me, “Man, those Pussycat Dolls sure are awesome, aren’t they?” I don’t roll my eyes and say, “I don’t listen to pop music.” I just smile and say, “Think so?” Or, if someone says, “I think the Giants might go all the way!”, I don’t respond with a curt, “I don’t follow football.” I just say, “Big fan, huh?”
So, sorry non-television watchers. I can’t relate to your contemptuous attitude or your uppity comments, but I’m delighted that your decision to disconnect gains you so much personal pride.
I’ll be thinkin’ about you tonight as I watch the evening news. (She rolls her eyes).
